Beside a three-story house in Romanesque style
that’s falling down,
a station wagon is parked
in the tall grass on two flat tires.
An old man sits behind the steering wheel
and reads the newspaper,
oblivious to the crumbling ruins.
He does this every day,
past All Saints,
warm in his sunroom
but going nowhere.
If you can write a story in 55 words, let Mr. Knowitall know. TGIF party animals!
24 comments:
what an intriguing old man you have conjured...so rich with detail i can see him...
Somehow, I really like this guy -- I want to get myself a cup of coffee and join him in the car on a sunny morning sometime. Nice one!
chilled out!
superb imagery!
A hopeful old man... Wonder where he had originally wished to go...
A chilling 55 !!
I wanted to rescue the old guy! I spent too much time working in the Alzheimer's Unit, I guess.
Marvelous Writing Yvonne...
I know people like him!
He must be reading The Free Press
hehehehe
Excellent 55 My Dear.
You Rock The Mitten..
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
If he did that around here, people would knock on his door and ask what he was up to.
Old Age - sense to do what works and not what folks say is right and proper. Just a fun 55 today!
Fascinating! I can just see him sitting there, reading his paper. Loved it! And I'm impressed - I've dabbled with drabbles for a couple of years, but at least we then have 100 words - you're working with only 55!
In just 55 words you've created some rich imagery. Great piece of writing.
Judy
Oh, there is a story there. I'd love to know more.
I’m up here.
this is a lovely piece. i knew an old man like that years ago.
Nice! I can completely picture this scene. :)
Love this Yvonne.
..sounds inviting somehow..would love to join him...
The Wrong Side of Town is great. The imagery of the story so real.
I can feel the warmth in the sunroom. Read on old man... :)
vivid capture of your character,
very moving 55.
This is a painting I would like. A content man among the ruins...sun and news enough. No longer needing to be going....just being.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to tell me what you thought about my piece. Rather than responding indiviually here, I'm visiting each of your blogs, if it takes me all week!
Thanks again. You all rock!!
Amazing imagery...thanks so much for sharing :)
thanks for commenting on my poem Yvonne - just enjoyed reading your 55 again...
have a great week!
claudia
Very powerful imagery! That last line goes right to the heart.
Yvonne,
I lived in that neighborhood.
You quite simply are a master at evoking emotions and conjuring up vivid realities in a handful of words.
I bow down to your greatness and am inspired every time I read your Flash 55's.
Post a Comment