"What do you plan to do with your one, wild, precious life?" -Mary Oliver

Friday, February 19, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday

REGRETS

The road to the lake is as flat as an ironing board. We rode his motorcycle to a ramshackle bar on the water. On the ride home the asphalt shimmered and I used the backrest. He left me on the bike to take a leak behind an abandoned farmhouse and then never called me again.

Now . . . this is what might have happened, and what I wish I’d written:

The road to the lake is as flat as an ironing board. We rode his motorcycle to the sand’s edge and drank beer from his saddlebag. On the ride home bugs caught in my hair and summer rushed past. He pulled off the highway to pee in the ditch and grasshoppers jumped over his boots.

I won't post the history of Flash-55 because I did that last week but if you can say it in 55 words please let the G-Man know.

Happy TGIF to y'all!!

18 comments:

Travener said...

Was it his bike, i.e., did you get a free bike out of this? Did he disappear, never to be seen again (did Sasquatch get him)?

Brian Miller said...

nice 55. true story i take it or is this one fiction. wonder where the regret comes into play...

my 55 is up!

Nisa said...

Nice! I've never heard of it until today, but I'm liking flash fiction 55!

quilly said...

If he disappeared behind an old farm house and never again called, did anybody think to look in the well? It isn't like a man to just vanish like that. Ditch his girl, sure, but not his bike, never!

Jemi Fraser said...

Very nice!

She Writes said...

Never? Not a guy you would have wanted long term then!

Yvonne said...

Trav,
No free bike. He didn't disappear. He just never called me again. He was quiet and mysterious and I was awkward and shy.

Brian,
Well, the regret is that nothing else happened, that I'll probably never again have a date on a motorcycle, that summer goes by so quickly.

Nisa,
Hi! Yeah, it's kinda fun. Thanks for stopping!

Quilly,
Ha! I guess my flash was pretty muddled. He finished his business, climbed back on and off we went. I just remember the dry heat and grasshoppers, and traffic whizzing by and being afraid of my own shadow.

Jemi,
Thanks!

Yvonne said...

Amy,

No. Probably not. It was just one of those encounters that one thinks about on occasion. I think he had beer in his saddlebags too. He was older and I imagine I was a pretty big disappointment. Catholic girl and all, you know, starting much too late.

Have a great weekend!

Susan said...

Sometimes we are so shy we forget to let go of our inhibitions and grab for what we want. Great 55! Thanks for stopping by mine :)

otin said...

Been left on an empty bike quite a few times.....kinda sucks!

G-Man said...

Well his name certainly was NOT Galen...hehehehe
You Rock Yvonne!
Loved your 55 today..
Thank you so much for contributing and supporting other authors.
Please join us again next week, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...
G-Daddy

catwoods said...

I so loved the first version. It had great voice and told a whole story in such a short space. There was emotion there.

Yvonne said...

Hi Cat,
Thank you.

I was driven to revisit because it seemed I was too ambiguous.

Suzanne Casamento said...

I love this concept. Must visit the G-Man. Thanks!

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh yes!!! The rewrite did amazing things for this. Still, both are remarkably vivid. One of these days, I need to check out that 55. I'm seriously inept when it comes to flash, though. Hmmm...

Yvonne said...

Suzanne,
Hi there. Yes, I just recently found out about Flash 55, but it has been around for a long time. Do check it out. It's a great writing exercise. Thank you for visting me!


Carol,
Thank you so much! I'm always grateful for your opinion. You can do flash. If I can, I know you can.

KB said...

I think I dated the same bloke. Love it.

Yvonne said...

Hi KB,
Yeah, silly blokes sure miss out. So where have all the cowboys gone? Bet you're warm and toasty down under. Thanks for saying hi!