The lost sunrise, rare coin, I now lament.
So too, its flaming slide at end of day.
I can’t escape my farm girl’s sentience.
Unleash me over those fields of fresh mown
hay,
Not here, where brick and steel climb up
the sky,
Where wren and hawk have flown a quick
retreat.
Gray smoke and stacks alike tarnish
surprise,
Over a city that rumbles beneath my feet,
That busy beast that swallows every sound.
With clotted breath to water’s edge I’m
drawn
Where stars appear from out the black surround.
Like fields of wheat, waves undulate in
song.
And then there’s you with power to part the
night.
You turn the linens down and dim the
lights.
I'm pounding the pentameter for d'Verse, the poet's pub, a top destination for poets worldwide to meet and share their work.
The challenge here from Ingrid is to write a poem in the heartbeat of iambic pentameter. da-dum, da, dum, da-dum,da-dum.
And then order a drink!
14 comments:
So enjoyed. Love the sense of a slice of life story in the moment yet filled with memories.
I love how you found a place at the end of your walk, with the sea being like the fields... I who grew up by the sea have actually felt exactly the opposite when seeing a field... there is something special with waves under an open sky.
This was wonderful Yvonne. Like you my friend give me the natural world, my preference is forested mountains. Here it’s the sound of the breeze in the canopy, and the critters at work or play. This was an excellent bit or writing. Resonated strongly for me!
This is absolutely gorgeous, Yvonne! You got the rhythm just right, and the imagery is exquisite. But the closing volta is the best part of all for me!
This is beautifully done, Yvonne!
With clotted breath to water’s edge I’m drawn
"Where stars appear from out the black surround." This so resonated with me.
Ahhhhh, a poem that resonates with me ~ deeply. Childhood spent in bucolic country side vs. every large metropolis I have lived in! Lovely writing ~~~
You speak for my farm girl heart! My father was a man of the soil, and when in a city he used to lament (one day all the farms will be covered with cement!)
Bev,
Lots of farm blood around here. I swear, my dad used to say the same thing. Thanks for commenting.
Helen,
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Used to be everyone had a close relationship to the countryside, an uncle or a cousin who farmed. It's distressing to see so many small farms disappearing.
Sunplugged,
Than you so much! Those are a couple of my favorite lines as well.
Ingrid,
Thank you. I think Iambic Pentameter is one of easiest rhythms to navigate. Our beating hearts!
Rob, thank you so much for the lovely compliment. Does my beating heart good!
Brudberg,
I've always wanted to live by the sea. Even though we are close to the Great Lakes, I'm never close enough and there's something very special about the power of the ocean.
Tony,
Thanks!
Thanks for always stopping by. I look for you:)
"Gray smoke and stacks alike tarnish surprise,
Over a city that rumbles beneath my feet,"
Yvonne - this is breathtaking imagery.
-David [ben Alexander]
http://skepticskaddish.com/
Thanks David!!
Thanks for stopping.
Those childhood landscapes never leave us.
Such beautiful imagery, Yvonne! I love the waves of wheat.
Kerfe,
Thanks for responding. Sorry I'm so late acknowledging.
Purple Pen,
You too, PP! Thanks so much.
This is such a beautiful poem. I love it!
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